meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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