At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
