I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
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she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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