Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
