My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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