Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
