Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize