considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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