I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
