take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Randomize
