i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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