would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
