on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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