He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just found puke in my bra..
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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