im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
