So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
