I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
