If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
where does the pee come out of this thing
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
