Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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