Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
