i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize