So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
