Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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