I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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