in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
