You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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