he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
