is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I touched a dick in church today
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
