She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
