You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize