When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
