In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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