the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
