This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
