It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
