HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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