you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not ubering you a puppy
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize