You're my little dorito
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize