i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
