I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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