Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
