I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
