I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.