She is in my trunk
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.