did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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