i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
