i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
