i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
