I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
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My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.