I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.