So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring