i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
... don't judge me
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now