at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.