i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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