Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
two words: eviction party
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
