so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
