I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
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Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
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Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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