well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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