worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
there's paper in my vomit.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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