Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize