i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
