No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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