the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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